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You buy stock in a paper towel factory.
Your jewelry box contains no jewels--just those fasteners from Vari-kennels. Every time you read the name Bob, you think the guy's first name is Best-of-Breed. You ask your vet if you can ride in her sports car sometime. Your house isn't carpeted--the furry fuzzballs under your feet are soft enough. Your hungry hubby comes home from work, lifts the cover of a pan on the stove and says "Is this people or dog food?" Your hungry hubby once ate the dog stew and asked for seconds. Your mother-in-law keeps asking when you're going to have children. You don't give a second thought to using the brush you just used on your dog to give a quick run-through on your own hair. You put important papers in your latest issue of your breed magazine, you KNOW you will find them there. You have dog hair stuck on tape on wrapped gifts. You show up at the car dealers with a ruler, to measure and see if your big dog crate will fit.
You can't get the groceries in the car because it's You visit relatives only if there is a dog show nearby. You absentmindly pat your husband on the head instead of hugging him. You remove all of the seats from the van except the 2 in front so you have room for the crates. You cringe at the cost of food in the grocery store but think nothing of buying dog toys and treats. You have 6 squeaky hedgehogs, 1 with squeaker still working. You are pickier about the shampoo you use on the dog than the one you use. You pull out your credit card, and little bits of liver are stuck to it. You get your latest roll of film developed and there isn't a single picture of a two legged person in the bunch.
People at work have stopped offering you their lint brushes. You refer to all babies and youngsters as "People Puppies." Your phone bill is $900.00 and all the calls were to talk dogs, none to family! You fall asleep at night with your dog's head on your shoulder and your arms around her rather than your spouse.
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